


Dangan Stuck

by Izuki



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Homestuck, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: I just had to, Multi, Saw a homestuck version of izuru, Thought it had potential, Trolls from both games, had to make this, i love homestuck, there is no other reason
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-04
Updated: 2015-09-29
Packaged: 2018-04-19 01:30:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4727669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Izuki/pseuds/Izuki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Izuru, Ibuki, Nagito, and Chiaki each decide to play a new game called Sburb for Izuru's sixteenth birthday. With the help of the trolls will they win and receive the ultimate prize? Or will they lose their lives to the session.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It’s Izuru Kamukura’s sixteenth birthday, and he’s sitting at his computer. He’s expecting his friends to contact him over Pesterchum, an instant messaging site that works like a forum.

MusicalManiac started pestering BoredGenius

MM: Hey Izuru-chan~! Izzy~! Izu~! Happy birthday!

BG: Hello Ibuki. Thank you.

MM: Come on! Be more excited! Izuru-chan is sixteen now! Brr…it’s cold out! Why did you have to be born in January!?

BG: I like the cold though.

MM: Of course Izuru-chan likes the cold. You get hot easily but refuse to cut your hair! Hey, are you still staying inside at all times?

BG: I’ve started spending short increments of time outside. It’s boring though.

MM: Izuru-chan think’s everything’s boring! Hey, did you get Ibuki’s present? She made sure to send it on time!

BG: Yeah, I like the scarf. It’s nice and long.

MM: Ibuki is glad Izuru-chan likes it! Ibuki actually made it herself!

BG: Really? It’s so well made though.

MM: How rude!

BG: I love it.

MM: H-Huh?

BG: I thought it was store bought at first, and thought it boring…but knowing it’s hand made by you is unexpected, and interesting. Therefore I don’t find it boring, and will treasure it.

MM: I see! Ibuki is flattered that such a gesture is good enough for Izuru-chan! Oh, Ibuki has to go, and will see you later! We’re playing Sburb together right!?

BG: I’ve got my disks with me right now, I’m just waiting for Nagito and Chiaki, since I know you’re ready. See you then.

MM: See you!

MusicalManiac has ceased pestering BoredGenius.

Izuru gets up from his computer and puts on the scarf he had left in the box. It was long and red, a huge contrast to his black suit and tie.

Izuru: I never expected her to go through that much trouble…Interesting.

Izuru looks at his walls. There are whiteboards everywhere with different mathematical and scientific equations. He had liked them at one point, but became bored of them. That was a habit, he quickly lost interest in things…aside from his friends of course. Since they all lived at different corners of the world, he could hear stories that he wouldn’t be able to experience himself at that time, and they each had a somewhat interesting personality.

Izuru: Man…I’m hungry.

He leaves his room and walks through the white house. When he opened the door to the fridge, he made a disappointed face. There was a little stuffed bear in the fridge. His father kept them in weird places. Izuru brushes aside the little bear and pulls out the croquettes he had made earlier that morning. After quickly heating them up, Izuru took them and a cola back up to his room. Soon he was back at his computer, finding that another friend had been pestering him for a while.

H0pefulBagels is pestering BoredGenius.

HB: Hey! Happy birthday Izuru! Did y0u like the cake? I 0rdered it fr0m the st0re in y0ur area f0r delivery!

Izuru looks over to the three layered cake sitting on his nightstand. It was a sugary nightmare of buttercream icing and marble cake, with red velvet cake on top of that, and strangely the top layer was a fruit cake.

HB: Hell0? Y0u there?

HB: Y0u eating?

HB: Sleeping?

BG: I was getting lunch. I’m saving the cake for later.

HB: Ah! Y0u’re here Izuru! Happy Birthday!

BG: Hello Nagito. Thank you. I’m sure I’ll enjoy the cake.

HB: S0 what else did y0u get for y0ur birthday?

BG: Ibuki knitted me a scarf. Chiaki’s gift has yet to arrive despite her constantly saying it is on its way…I swear, she’s like that guy that wrote Game of Thrones.

HB: What ab0ut y0ur dad? What did he get y0u? 

BG: I refuse to open the box. There is a large possibility that it is another stuffed bear. I just captchalogued it.

HB: Y0u’re weird. Y0u can get anything fr0m y0ur sylladex at any time.

BG: I got bored of the zany sylladex types, I’d rather have the ability to retrieve my things when I want them.

HB: I get it. I use stack, s0 I have t0 w0rk my way d0wn.

BG: And Ibuki uses tree, while Chiaki uses Pictionary.

HB: Hey, why d0n’t y0u have s0me spelling quirk? Ibuki adds –chan t0 names, I use zer0s instead 0f the letter o, that 0ne instance excluded, and Chiaki uses ( f0r c and # f0r h.

BG: Because I’d get bored of it and abandon it. How about we call proper English my spelling quirk, because apparently I’m the only guy on the internet that is faithful to it.

HB: Makes sense. Alright! Pr0per English is Izuru’s spelling quirk. We’ll I’ve g0t t0 g0 get my c0py 0f Sburb fr0m the mail! See y0u in the game!

BG: Yeah, see you.

H0pefulBagels has ceased pestering BoredGenius

Izuru starts to eat his food, while looking around. The cake was large and odd. There was no way he could eat all of that himself.

Izuru: I guess I’ll captchalogue it.

He moves the cake into an empty card, and goes back to eating his croquettes.

Izuru: Seriously, that guy goes more overboard than dad. At least it was small enough to fit in my fetch modus.

Izuru captchalogues the remaining croquettes for later and checks the computer again.

Izuru: Oh, how lucky.

Gamer(#i(k has begun pestering BoredGenius

G(: #ey, listen! I tra(ked t#e pa(kage! It s#ould be wit# you now! 

BG: I see. I don’t have it with me, so it must be in the mailbox.

G(: Okay! You’re going to love it…I think. You never really show joy in your responses.

BG: Joy? What’s that? He asked quite sarcastically.

G(: #a#a; s#e responded. Go get it!

BG: Alright, I’ll be right back.

G(: ;)

Izuru backs away from the computer and looks out his window. The flag on the mailbox is up. He quickly and quietly makes his way downstairs, not trying to get his father’s attention, because that would end up with him opening the present. He skillfully makes his way to the mailbox and retrieves the package, it was wrapped in Invaders Must Die themed wrapping paper, and instead of a bow, it had a figurine of the tank glued down on the top. It caused Izuru to chuckle. The two of them had known each other the longest in their group, and saw the other as a pseudo sibling. Izuru perfectly knew how Chiaki would decorate it, and probably knew what was inside as well, but he never saw it as boring. She was fun, and she introduced him to the others. He snuck back into the house and made his way back to his room.

BG: Alright, I have it. I wanted to comment on the great decorative wrapping before I opened it.

G(: !! I knew you’d like it! Open it! 

Izuru pulls the box up and carefully opens the paper, revealing a small brown box. He pulls the top off, revealing a stack of empty strife specibus cards. All of them were empty, but there was a lot of potential for it. The stack was of exactly nineteen cards, that added to Izuru’s one blank one gave him a total of twenty.

BG: So…Strife cards?

G(: Well, you get bored of stuff easily, and t#e game we’re going to play requires weapons! If you #ave twenty, you can swit(# before you get bored and master as many different kinds you want!

BG: You are awesome. Virtual high five. (/*0*)/\\(*0*\\)

G(: Yay! So #ow are we going to play? You #ave to #ave a moderator to play, and t#ere are four of us. Obviously we’re going to be eac# ot#er’s moderators in our group, so w#o will moderate w#o?

BG: Well, the two of us are good at games, and can keep focused. We should moderate Ibuki and Nagito, and have them do the same for us so we can keep them on track.

G(: I’m on board wit# t#at. So am I pairing wit# Nagito?

BG: Could you? I can handle talking to him for a set amount of time, but if we’re talking for extended periods I’m going to go insane…I sound terrible for saying that about a friend, but I mean that I might get caught up in his pace and start losing focus as well.

G(: I understand. T#oug# it would be funny, I’d rat#er win t#e game. I’ll just leave you wit# Ibuki t#en. ;)

Izuru chuckles a bit while looking at it.

BG: I guess you will. I’m doing you a favor, it’s harder to keep her focused than it is to keep from losing yourself in Nagito’s pace.

G(: Well t#en, I s#ould be going to tell Nagito about t#e set up. You tell Ibuki! ;P

Gamer(#i(k has ceased pestering BoredGenius

BoredGenius has begun pestering MusicalManiac

BG: Hey.

MM: Izuru-chan! Have you already talked to everyone?

BG: Yeah, Chiaki is going to moderate Nagito and vice-versa, making us each others moderators.

MM: Okay! Ibuki has already downloaded the moderator software, so if you download the game software, Ibuki will get Izuru-chan started!

BG: Alright, give me a minute.

Izuru turns away from the chat client and picks up the Sburb disks, selecting the game disk and popping it into his computer. It takes a full ten minutes for it to download properly. As soon as he was finished he ran the software, and choosing Ibuki as his moderator. He turns back to the computer.

MM: Alright! Ibuki is connecting...

MM: Izuru-chan! Why is your house so big!?

BG: I didn’t buy it, don’t ask me. Anyway, what can you do?

MM: Ibuki will see!

A crash could be heard in the distance.

MM: Ibuki set down some things! The alchemiter, the totem lathe, and the cruxtruder! They’re in the living room! And might Ibuki add that Izuru-chan looks totally awesome with the red scarf?

Izuru chuckles to himself.

MM: Ibuki saw that! She made Izuru-chan laugh! Yay! Izuru-chan, Ibuki is moving your cell to you so you can be mobile with Pesterchum!

Izuru’s phone moves from his bed to right next to him, so he picks that up and uses it for Pesterchum.

BG: Alright, I’m going to check these things out.

Izuru gets up from his computer and runs down to the living room. He finds the large objects that had crushed his couch, broke the television, and blocked the doorway.

Izuru: Of course…

He shakes his head with his left hand to his temples.

BG: Did you have to destroy everything?

MM: That’s the only way it would all fit in one room!

BG: I guess it’s alright…for now.

Izuru starts to inspect the Cruxtruder, and the lid starts to shake.

MM: Hey, open it up! Ibuki wants to see what’s inside!

BG: Alright, I’ll give it a try…but first I’ll get something to help. It looks heavy. I’ll just get something and add it to one of my strife cards.

Izuru starts looking around, and ends up going into the garage, finding a multitude of items he could use.

BG: I only have one equipped, what do you think I should use? Hammerkind or Clubkind?

MM: Not the clubs, those look lame.

BG: Alright.

Izuru sets the card to Hammerkind as he walks over to the sledgehammer in the corner and picks it up. He carries it back to the cruxtruder and turns the wheel on the side. That causes the top to come up slightly, but Izuru still has to climb the ladder on the side of it. he swings the sledgehammer, knocking the top off and a red orb flies out.

BG: So what’s this thing?

MM: A kernel! You have to prototype it, so it can guide you in the game. Remember not to touch it yourself! It’d be terrible if Izuru-chan became part of his kernel. 

BG: Alright.

Izuru starts looking around.

BG: Any suggestions?

MM: You’ll be fighting things that look like it, so don’t make them look like something you like.

Izuru quickly takes a stuffed black bear toy and tosses it into the kernel.

BG: I hate bears.

The kernel shows a bear’s face and starts to float away.

MM: You have to double prototype it after you’re in the game.

BG: How do I get in the game?

MM: Turn the wheel again to get a cruxite totem for the totem lathe, and I’ll get the card for it out of the shop!

Izuru does as instructed, receiving the red totem and placing it on the lathe. The card is set down next to him, and he inserts it into the slot, causing the lathe to cut into the totem like a laser. When it was done he set it on the alchemiter at the designated spot, which caused a red angel to show up. Izuru picks it up and walks up to his room, it was easy as it was only the size of his index finger.

BG: I’ve got the item, and I’m sure that I’ve got it from here, so I’ll set up my moderator software while you set up the game client.

MM: Okay! Give Ibuki five minutes!

BG: Alright.

Izuru sets up the moderator software and walks up to the window, looking at the large meteorite that was heading right for him.

Izuru: Looks like Chiaki wasn’t joking. The world is ending and this is the only hope…

Izuru takes the angle and breaks it, causing him to faint as he is transported into the game. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter we get a glimpse of Izuru's world through a window, then Ibuki being guided through the tutorial, and her meeting her first troll, ViscountessVirgo. This chapter focuses mostly on Ibuki, like last chapter focusing on Izuru.

Izuru wakes up only a minute after entering the session, and looks outside. The world he was sent to is the world of Snow and Angels. He completely disregarded it and went back to his computer.

BoredGenius has begun pestering MusicalManiac

BG: Hey, you ready yet? Select me as a moderator. We don’t have much time, so we’ve got to hurry. We had leisure time before I got in, but now time is short. That’s why I went in first, because we wouldn’t have any time at all if you went in first.

MM: What does that mean!? Izuru-chan, are you insulting me?

Ibuki was sitting at her computer, just finishing her preparations when Izuru started pestering her.

BG: Simply that if you went in first, you’d be too busy dealing with enemies to moderate me until it was too late. I can deal with the enemies while moderating you easily…Now before you start playing I need you to drop the punch designix in a spot where it doesn’t block anything off or crush anymore things.

MM: Okay, but why?

BG: While moderating and instructing you, I’ll be increasing my arsenal, but I need the punch designix to do so. Just so you know, I knew how to use all of the items you dropped beforehand, I was just having you tell me stuff so that I could make sure you knew. It was my way of giving you a tutorial…I’m glad you knew it.

MM: Hehe, well Chiaki-chan kind of sent Ibuki a guide for the game and said not to put those three far away from each other. Ibuki will put down the designix for Izuru-chan!

Ibuki selects the designix and sets it in the corner of Izuru’s room, in an area that fit Izuru’s specifications. After that, Ibuki launches the game and selects Izuru as her moderator.

BG: Alright, I’m in…

BG: You have a nice house. I’d much rather live in a place like that than my huge place.

MM: Why? It’s only half the size…

BG: But it’s got style. I’m sure I’d get bored of it eventually, but not right away like I did of my place…Alright, I’m extending the terrace to your room now, so don’t freak out.

Ibuki looks over to the terrace as it grows as large as a room, and then the three devices are set down on it as a punched card is set next to Ibuki. 

BG: I’ll leave these with you, if you need help with anything just start pestering me.

BoredGenius ceased pestering MusicalManiac

Ibuki: Izuru-chan is really rushing Ibuki…

Ibuki walks out to the machines and turns the wheel on the side of the cruxtruder. When she’s finished, she climbs up to the top and tries to push the lid off. It’s too heavy for her to even budge it.

Ibuki: Ibuki will not be beaten!

She slides down the ladder and starts digging around her closet, where she had just shoved all of her stuff. She didn’t want Izuru to see how messy it was in there. She pulled a large black book out of the bottom, almost too big for her to carry.

Ibuki: Ibuki’s songbook will have to work. Ibuki doesn’t have a useful strife specibus for this!

Ibuki’s only strife specibus was set to needlekind, because she used a pair of chopsticks to keep her hair up, and thought that they’d be a pretty neat weapon.

Ibuki: Ibuki should have picked something useful!

She struggles to lift the book up with her as she climbs to the top of the cruxtruder yet again. Just as she was about to swing the book, she fell back. She braced herself for a painful fall, but was surprised by her bed being under her.

BoredGenius began pestering MusicalManiac

BG: I look away for five minutes and you’re already in danger? .

MM: Izuru-chan! You saved me! 

BG: That’s not important…Here, let me get that lid off for you.

The music book starts to float up from where it landed, and is flung into the lid of the cruxtruder, and freeing a dark blue kernel into Ibuki’s room

MM: Thank you Izuru-chan!

BG: Now program it and get on to entering the game. Time is of the essence.

Ibuki looks at the cruxtruder. It’s counting backwards from ten minutes.

MM: What’s that timer for!? It’s counting down! It’s stressing Ibuki out!

BG: That’s how long you have to pass the tutorial and prove you’re worthy of playing the game.

MM: What happens if Ibuki doesn’t make it?

BG: …

MM: W-What?

BG: Remember how I told you my address? Look it up right now and you’ll understand.

Ibuki does as instructed, and gives an audible gasp.

MM: It summons a meteorite!? 

BG: No, the timer is how long until a meteor is supposed to hit the cruxtruder’s general area. 

MM: Is Sburb ending the world!?

BG: No, the world was ending as soon as it began. Sburb is not the problem, it’s the solution. Now please stop wasting time and enter the game. I’d be upset with you if you can guide me in so quickly and can’t even do the same for yourself.

MM: U-Understood. Ibuki will program her kernel now.

BG: Please do.

BoredGenius has ceased pestering MusicalManiac

Ibuki: Alright…now to find something…

Ibuki starts to look around her room and decides to search the house. Her house was small compared to Izuru’s, but it was still rather nice. The first place she searched was her living room. There was a large number of bookshelves lining the room. Each of the books was a detective novel, not like Ibuki read any of them. Ibuki was more into music than detectives, but she still thought detectives were cool in movies. She didn’t have the attention span for a novel.

Ibuki: Ibuki would toss a book in, but she doesn’t want the enemies to be able to find her if they end up detectives...And Ibuki could never punch Sherlock Holmes!

She ends up leaving the living room and moving towards the attic. There were all sorts of things that she had outgrown over the years up there, so she felt she could find something she wouldn’t mind hitting. She started to dig through the boxes, finding a multitude of things that she had gotten bored of. Such stuff as those dolls that give little girls impossible self-image standards and low self-esteem, a broken fog machine, and a marionette puppet. Ibuki’s first instinct was to throw the puppet away, but when she did she didn’t notice the kernel floating behind her.

Ibuki: Ah man! Ibuki doesn’t want to fight boring puppets! Wait! This is perfect! Ibuki hates boring things, so she can beat them up to fight off boredom! Good job Ibuki, Izuru-chan would be proud.

BoredGenius has begun pestering MusicalManiac

BG: Your timer has only five minutes left. You need to get the cruxite totem from the cruxtruder and put it on the lathe. I set the punched card into the lathe for you already to save you time.

MM: Thank you Izuru-chan! How are things going on your end?

BG: Kinda busy. One of my outside acquaintances is distracting me from the bear imps, and then I’m looking after you the rest of the time.

MM: Alright! Ibuki will get right on it! Izuru-chan should not worry himself over Ibuki anymore, she will be in the game soon!

BG: I’ll take your word for that.

BoredGenius has ceased pestering Musical Maniac.

Ibuki: Alright, Ibuki will do this to prove that Izuru-chan can trust her!

Ibuki quickly leaves the attic and makes her way back to her room. She quickly works the wheel, making a totem pop up. She swiftly moves the totem onto the lathe, and lets it make the changes to it. She then takes the totem and sets it on the alchemiter. The alchemiter produces a blue sand timer.

Ibuki: A sand timer? Alright, Ibuki knows how to do this then!

Ibuki turns the timer and starts it. The falling sand is somewhat fast, but not going as fast as Ibuki would like. She was distressed because the timer had just hit two minutes when she started.

Ibuki: Come on…Come on…How long are you going to make Ibuki wait!?

ViscountessVirgo has begun trolling MusicalManiac

VV: Patience is a virtue dear.

MM: Ah! It’s you! It’s definitely you! Um…who are you? And why does Pesterchum say you’re trolling Ibuki rather than pestering her. How can you do that?

VV: This is the first vve’ve spoken actually, and I am a troll, that’s vvhy I’m trolling you. And before you get all confused and think I’m trying to punk you or vvhatever, I’ll tell you that my species is troll rather than human. I’m from a different planet than you. Ask Gamer(#i(k. She’s been in contact vvith my kind already, as has BoredGenius. In fact, BoredGenius is currently being trolled by one of my friends.

MM: Why are you telling me this then? Isn’t that bad?

VV: Not really, and besides, I’d rather enjoy being your friend. My name is Mahiru, and my friends agree that getting you and your friends safely through Sburb vvould be in everyone’s best interests. Though some are more rude than others, so don’t expect every troll to talk to you to be friendly.

MM: Okay, so Mahiru-chan, why did you pick this exact moment to talk to Ibuki?

VV: Because if I didn’t, you vvould have shaken or broken the sand timer, and be taken out before you could play the game. I’ll talk to you again vvhen you need me, but you vvon’t be able to contact me my dear.

ViscountessVirgo has ceased trolling MusicalManiac.

Ibuki looks back to the timer, she has ten seconds before death. She turns to the sand timer, and the last grain of sand drops. She passes out and enters the game, to the land of sands and sun.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is basically what Izuru was doing while moderating Ibuki, and meeting the troll that Mahiru (ViscountessVirgo) had mentioned before.

BoredGenius has ceased pestering MusicalManiac.

Izuru puts up his phone and captchalogues his computer, along with an old projector in his closet, and a watch in his drawer. He puts them into the designix one by one and takes them down to the living room. He gets another totem and sets it on the lathe, and overlaps the captcha cards in it. When the totem is altered, He sets it on the alchemiter, creating a holographic computer watch. It was the size of a regular watch, but it gave him the ability to project a holographic computer screen and keyboard, so he would be able to check on Ibuki from anywhere. Next he captchalogued his sledgehammer, already having his other strife cards equipped, and put a blank card in the designix, typing the code from the back on it. He knew about that beforehand, but didn’t need the three items he had wasted beforehand. When that was done, he retrieved a knife from the kitchen and his hammer from the card. After removing the hammer head and captchalogues the handle. He has both of them punched and makes another totem with the two of them. The item made was a sword similar to a katana. Its name was Standard Katana. Izuru set his next strife card to swordkind so that it would work for him, and another to fistkind for convenience. His last action was to captchalogue a captcha card and have it punched, and collect sixteen more captcha cards, as he only had four left after his usage of the designix.

Izuru: Now to check on Ibuki… 

Izuru opens the hologram on his watch and instinctively moves the bed next to the cruxtruder as Ibuki begins to fall.

BoredGenius began pestering MusicalManiac

BG: I look away for five minutes and you’re already in danger?

MM: Izuru-chan! You saved me!

BG: That’s not important…Here, let me get that lid off for you.

Izuru picks up the book on his screen, causing the real one to move with him. He quickly strikes it against the lid, causing the kernel to be freed for Ibuki. 

MM: Thank you Izuru-chan!

BG: Now program it and get on to entering the game. Time is of the essence.

MM: What’s that timer for!? It’s counting down! It’s stressing Ibuki out!

BG: That’s how long you have to pass the tutorial and prove you’re worthy of playing the game.

MM: What happens if Ibuki doesn’t make it?

BG: …

MM: W-What?

BG: Remember how I told you my address? Look it up right now and you’ll understand.

It only takes a few seconds for her to respond to him. 

MM: It summons a meteorite!? 

BG: No, the timer is how long until a meteor is supposed to hit the cruxtruder’s general area. 

MM: Is Sburb ending the world!?

BG: No, the world was ending as soon as it began. Sburb is not the problem, it’s the solution. Now please stop wasting time and enter the game. I’d be upset with you if you can guide me in so quickly and can’t even do the same for yourself.

MM: U-Understood. Ibuki will program her kernel now.

BG: Please do.

BoredGenius has ceased pestering MusicalManiac

The sound of something moving comes from the kitchen, causing Izuru to go investigate. Riffling through his fridge was an imp like creature with a head similar to the plush bear that Izuru threw into his kernel. When it noticed Izuru it went on the attack, however it was quickly cleaved by the Standard Katana.

CrabbyDragon has begun trolling BoredGenius 

CD: HEY DUMBASS!

BG: Ugh…What do you want Fuyuhiko? Don’t you have troll things to do on that meteorite you’re living on?

CD: I’M TRYING TO BE HELPFUL! LOOK, WE NEED YOU TO WIN. NO TANGENTS. I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO, DO IT, AND WIN. IF YOU DON’T THEN I’VE WASTED MY TIME TALKING TO YOU.

BG: You don’t have to tell me. I plan on winning with my friends.

CD: I’M NOT SURE THAT THEY CAN WIN. REMEMBER, THE FUTURE IS UNCLEAR TO US UP HERE AFTER A CERTAIN POINT. YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER NOT TO LOSE YOURSELF AFTER YOU BECOME WHO YOU ARE.

BG: I can’t tell if you’re being helpful or insulting sometimes, goodbye.

BoredGenius has left CrabbyDragon to sit in the corner and think about his life. :P

CD: HOW THE HELL-

CrabbyDragon was forcefully logged off and has ceased trolling BoredGenius.

During their exchange, Izuru had been surrounded by the bear imps.

Izuru: This is why I you have the worst timing in my opinion.

Izuru grips the sword tightly and strikes down the imps. They all let out a blue object that was shaped like a gusher, grist. Something Izuru had a surplus of simply because he did. He checks on Ibuki again, finding her finally prototyping her kernel.

BoredGenius has begun pestering MusicalManiac

BG: Your timer has only five minutes left. You need to get the totem from the cruxtruder and put it on the lathe. I set the punched card into the lathe for you already to save you time.

MM: Thank you Izuru-chan! How are things going on your end?

BG: Kinda busy. One of my outside acquaintances is distracting me from the bear imps, and then I’m looking after you the rest of the time.

MM: Alright! Ibuki will get right on it! Izuru-chan should not worry himself over Ibuki anymore, she will be in the game soon!

BG: I’ll take your word for that.

BoredGenius has ceased pestering Musical Maniac.

Izuru decides to trust her and use this time to upgrade his arsenal slightly. He began by making a duplicate of his sword by way of making a designix card specifically for it. After that, he had worked on improving what he had. He mixed the sledgehammer with an old radiator he found in the basement. The new hammer was slightly bigger, and the hammerhead was giving off a strong heat.

CrabbyDragon has resumed trolling BoredGenius

CD: HA! I GOT BACK IN ASS!

Izuru sighed. He worked so hard on the anti-trolling program, as in he actually tried. 

BG: I already said I’m going to win, what do you want?

CD: FUCK YOU! THAT’S WHAT! WHAT MAKES YOU SO SPECIAL THAT YOU GET THIS CODE SO EARLY ON? FFFFFFWW.

BG: No thank you. Giving me a code is boring. I’ll figure out codes myself if I want something.

CD: YOU DUMBASS! HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO WIN IF YOU WON’T ACCEPT MY FIREND’S WEAPON THAT HE STRUGGLED SO HARD TO DECIDE TO LET YOU HAVE!

BG: Fine, how about this? I’ll save that code until I need it. How’s that? That way I’ll still get it, but I won’t be making things so easy that It’s boring.

Izuru slashes through more bear imps as he responds, collecting more of his surplus of grist.

CD: WOW…YOU’RE ACTUALLY GOOD…FOR A WORTHLESS HUMAN!

BG: This is why I prefer talking to Celes more than you. You’re always yelling and she is nice…ish. It’s much easier to stomach…that and she doesn’t yell as if I’m deaf…or blind in this case.

Izuru takes out another bear imp.

CD: YOU SURE COMPLAIN A LOT FOR SOMEONE TURNING DOWN HELP. YOU HAVEN’T EVEN DONE YOUR SECONDARY PROTOTYPE FOR THE GAME! IT’S MESSED UP! HOW DO YOU HAVE SO MANY MATERIALS!? ALL OF YOUR STUPID WORTHLESS GRIST TYPES ARE AT INFINITE! YOU COULD EVEN MAKE THE ZILLI WEAPONS!

BoredGenius has taken all of CrabbyDragon’s base.

CD: THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN!?

CrabbyDragon was forcefully logged off and has ceased trolling BoredGenius.

Izuru: Thank god I have reserves. 

Izuru devotes his attention to taking out the bear imps. When they’re all done, he finds a polar bear plush toy and tosses it into the kernel, causing the kernel to take the form of a plush bear with half of its body white, and the other half black. It was no longer the kernel, but a sprite…a useless one at that. Suddenly there is a large thumping coming from the roof. He goes to investigate, finding two large ogre like imps with the bear heads, that now matched the sprite that he had just made out of the kernel.

Izuru: Ogre bears? Thank god.

He switches the sword for the radiator hammer.

Izuru: I was getting bored of imps.

He jumps up to the roof and grins. The ogres look at him and start to close in.

Izuru: Who’s first!?

Izuru rushes at them with his hammer behind him. He jumps high up into the air and strikes at one of the ogres. To his dismay, the ogre went down in one shot.

Izuru has climbed several steps in the echiladder. Izuru is given the title Ogre Slayer.

Izuru: Come on…the only reason that I’m even using this hammer is because it’s cold. It’s no fun if you go down so easily.

The other ogre looked at the different grist that was where the other was looking, and ran away.

Izuru: Damn it…it’s even less fun when you run…but then again the chase…but I want to stay here until I’m sure we all made it in alright…Ha…

BoredGenius has started reverse-trolling CrabbyDragon

CD: HOW CAN YOU DO THAT!?

BG: Marshmallows.

CD: WHAT?

BG: The code for marshmallows is what? You’re so keen on helping me, I want to roast some marshmallows while I wait for the others.

CD: WHAT THE HELL ARE MARSHMALLOWS?

BG: Figures…I’ll just guess it.

BoredGenius has grown bored of reverse trolling CrabbyDragon and ceased

Izuru makes his way down to the designix, and makes up a code. H0p3fu1W. When he takes it down to test it, what he found was that it was the code for a white wand. When he captchalogued it, its name came out as Empericist’s Wand, and the wand’s grist cost was astronomical.

Izuru: Hah…Emergency use I guess.

Izuru sets one of his strife specibus to Wandkind.

Izuru: Looks like I have to make them myself. 

And with that, Izuru went to the kitchen and started making marshmallows, just so that he could captchalogue them, and make more quickly and pass time while the others got into the game. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter focuses on Nagito and his tutorial to enter the session, featuring Chiaki and a new troll.

Nagito Komeada is sitting at his computer. He just got the confirmation that his birthday surprise got to Izuru. 

Nagito: Alright, time to pester him about it! 

H0pefulBagels is pestering BoredGenius. 

HB: Hey! Happy birthday Izuru! Did y0u like the cake? I 0rdered it fr0m the st0re in y0ur area f0r delivery!

HB: Hell0? Y0u there?

HB: Y0u eating?

HB: Sleeping?

BG: I was getting lunch. I’m saving the cake for later.

HB: Ah! Y0u’re here Izuru! Happy Birthday!

BG: Hello Nagito. Thank you. I’m sure I’ll enjoy the cake.

HB: S0 what else did y0u get for y0ur birthday?

BG: Ibuki knitted me a scarf. Chiaki’s gift has yet to arrive despite her constantly saying it is on its way…I swear, she’s like that guy that wrote Game of Thrones.

HB: What ab0ut y0ur dad? What did he get y0u?

BG: I refuse to open the box. There is a large possibility that it is another stuffed bear. I just captchalogued it.

HB: Y0u’re weird. Y0u can get anything fr0m y0ur sylladex at any time.

BG: I got bored of the zany sylladex types, I’d rather have the ability to retrieve my things when I want them.

HB: I get it. I use stack, s0 I have t0 w0rk my way d0wn.

BG: And Ibuki uses tree, while Chiaki uses Pictionary.

HB: Hey, why d0n’t y0u have s0me spelling quirk? Ibuki adds –chan t0 names, I use zer0s instead 0f the letter o, that 0ne instance excluded, and Chiaki uses ( f0r c and # f0r h.

BG: Because I’d get bored of it and abandon it. How about we call proper English my spelling quirk, because apparently I’m the only guy on the internet that is faithful to it.

HB: Makes sense. Alright! Pr0per English is Izuru’s spelling quirk. We’ll I’ve g0t t0 g0 get my c0py 0f Sburb fr0m the mail! See y0u in the game!

BG: Yeah, see you.

H0pefulBagels has ceased pestering BoredGenius

Nagito gets up from his desk and goes down to the mailbox. His copy of Sburb is right there. He quickly grabs it and returns to his room, grabbing a bagel on the way. They keep him occupied. If he’s not eating, he’s spouting nonsense about how hope was the only truth. Hope makes the world go round and such.

Nagito: Ah, Chiaki is talking to me!

Gamer(#i(k is pestering H0pefulBagels

G(: #ey! I’m your moderator for t#e game! And you’re mine too!

HB: Really? S0 Izuru and Ibuki are m0derating each 0ther? D0 y0u think he realized yet?

G(: No way. #e’s too dense to know yet. Not to mention that an asso(iate of ours #as a diffi(ult to understand emotion for #im. 

HB: 0h, 0ne 0f th0se internet tr0lls?

G(: T#ey are real trolls t#ank you very muc#. 

HB: Which 0ne? CrabbyDrag0n? 

G(: No, and I promised #er t#at I would not divulge t#at information. 

HB: 0h, s0 it c0uldn’t be CrabbyDrag0n…since he’s a guy…I think?

G(: #ey! T#at is my t#ing! You (an’t just take it!

HB: S0rry. S0 am I getting y0u in?

G(: Not yet, I’ll get you in first so t#at you know w#at you’re doing w#en you set the stuff down to get me in.

HB: Alright, then let’s get t0 this.

G(: Yeah. 

Gamer(#i(k has ceased pestering H0pefulBagels

Nagito: Alright, so I should be downloading the game client software…

Nagito downloads the game and selects Chiaki to be his moderator. He was a bit disappointed that Izuru wasn’t going to be helping him out too, be he understood that Ibuki needed him to keep her focused and so that she could survive. She was a special little snowflake that Ibuki. They all were in a way. Izuru the antisocial with a number of friends, Ibuki with her short attention span, Komeada and his obsession with hope and bagels, and Chiaki the gaming genius that possibly has narcolepsy. 

Nagito: So when do we start playing…I should ask her that. 

H0pefulBagels has begun pestering Gamer(#i(k. 

HB: Alight, I’m ready! 

G(: Alright, I’ll set the stuff down on your roof. Your room is too messy for it.

Nagito hears three bumps come from the roof. 

G(: And you’ll need this. 

She drops the punch card next to him. 

G(: I put a ladder down for you so you can get on t#e roof.

HB: Thank y0u.

Gamer(#i(k has ceased pestering H0pefulBagels

Nagito gets up from the computer, grabs his phone and walks out onto the terrace, climbing the ladder that Chiaki had put down for him. When he found the Cruxtruder he gave a long whistle. 

Nagito: Alright, so I guess I should open this thing right? Good thing my clubs are in my strife specibus rather than my sylladex. 

Nagito turns the wheel on the side of the cruxtruder and climbs up the side. Next he pulls out his clubs. Normal juggling clubs that Izuru sent as a joke gift for Christmas. Nagito bats the lid off of the cruxtruder, releasing a lime green kernel. 

Nagito: Hey! It matches my text!

He starts going through his sylladex to find something to program it with, and after removing everything from it he found a bird keychain so he tossed it in. After that he started to get the cruxite totem from the cruxtruder, before he was interrupted.

ArachnoGambler has begun trolling H0pefulBagels

AG: Hello. I 8et you’re having fun.

HB: Wh0’re y0u?

AG: I am 8oredGenius’s moirail. You can call me Celes.

HB: M0irail? That’s a weird w0rd.

AG: Ah, I see. You haven’t 8een educ8ted in the quadrants. There is M8spritship, Kismesissitude, Auspisticism, and Moirallegiance.

HB: I d0n’t f0ll0w.

AG: How a8out I explain them to you then. A m8sprit is the flushed quadrant, and is like…true love I guess is how you’d put it. Then there’s your kismeses in the caliginous quadrant, that’s more like…you h8 the person so much that you love it about them. It’s a really destructive quadrant. Next we have an auspistice in the ashen quadrant. It’s like a facilit8tor that keeps a relationship functioning. Finally we have moirails in the pale quadrant. Moirails are like a guardian that protects their palem8’s 8est interests. It’s more out of pity though since it’s a redrom quadrant. That’s mostly why I’m drawn to Izuru as his palem8. I pity how easily he grows 8ored of things, so I try to keep him from growing 8ored of things as much as possi8le. Though he’s a rare case, humans shouldn’t 8e a8le to fully experience the quadrant system, he seems to fully em8race it, accepting the Moirallegiance 8etween us and the Auspisticism 8etween you, him, and the auspistice Chiaki. So do you follow?

HB: N0t really…all I g0t from that is that y0u and Izuru are friends and that Chiaki is like…s0me kind 0f relati0si0nship guru? Hey, why’re y0u talking to me anyway?

AG: Thanks for reminding me. I got assigned to tell you that we trolls want you guys to win your session in s8ur8. It would 8e gr8 if you could do that for us. I won’t 8e in charge of you much after this, 8ecause I’m going to 8e taking over for Cra88yDragon in guiding Izuru through after everyone’s in.

HB: Why didn’t y0u say s0? S0 all y0u need is f0r me t0 get in the sessi0n quickly and then get Chiaki in. That way y0u can spend time chatting with Izuru and subsequently leading him t0 his destiny? 

AG: Oh good, you understand. Well I’ll leave you to it then. 8ye.

ArachnoGambler has ceased trolling H0pefullBagels

Nagito: Alright, so I just have to get going.

Nagito retrieves the cruxite totem from the cruxtruder and takes it over to the totem lathe, and puts in the punched card. When he put the altered totem onto the alchemiter, the resulting item was a game of whack-a-mole. Nagito grips onto one of his clubs with a slight grin.

Nagito: So I just have to win this game and I get into the session?

The game starts up, and Nagito starts to whack at the moles. After missing about a hundred times he suddenly he smacked a mole and passed out as he entered his session in the land of breakfast and beasts.


End file.
